Where have I been: heart failure, stress, sadness and my new job!

Hey!

So, I haven't been around for a while. Over the last 3 months my life has changed massively and, if I'm completely honest, I'm struggling to cope.

In January, my mum had her first heart attack. She was in hospital for about 2 weeks and missed my 16th birthday. She had another heart attack at the start of this month (March) and was in hospital for about a week. Before she got sent home, she was diagnosed. She has chronic heart failure. The muscle in her heart is  extremely damaged from the first heart attack and there is nothing they can do for it. 

This is one of the main 'reasons' why I'm stressed and sad. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I'm just... really sad. I have my GCSE's in 2 months and have barely started revision which is adding to my stress. My stress has caused me to lose 10 pounds in the last month and I have also missed my period for the last 2 months. Was that too much information?

On a brighter note, I now have a Saturday job. It is at a small cafe in my town and, so far, I really enjoy it.

I know this post was short and un-happy but I just wanted to update you all.

What's new in your life?

-Jess<3

TMI tag!

Hey!

I know I have been kinda MIA recently but my life has been super hectic. As is is starting to settle down a bit, I felt I should get back to blogging. So, I thought I would kick off my 'come back' with the TMI tag. Enjoy.

The TMI Tag!

Q- What are you wearing?

A- A grey and turquoise jumper with black leggings.

Q- Ever been in love?

A- Nope.

Q- Ever had a terrible break up?

A- No.

Q- How tall are you?

A- I think I am like 5 foot 2/3 inches.

Q- How much do you weigh?

A- A lot more than someone my age should.

Q- Any tattoos?

A- No but I really want to get some. I have a 5 tattoos that I really want to get and have wanted them for the last 3/4 years but my parents won't let me get any until I turn 18 as they don't really like them.

Q- Any piercings?

A- I have a regular ear piercing (1 piercing in each lobe). I had my helix/cartilage pierced (top of ear) but I then worked out that I was allergic to the stud they used so I let it heal up. I also looked into getting my tragus pierced for my 14th birthday but I got told they would not do it for me until I turned 15 and then I never went back to get it done.

Q- OTP?

A- I don't actually have an OTP. I know, it sucks to be me.

Q- Favourite show?

A- Outnumbered.

Q-  Favourite band?

A- I don't really have a favourite band but I do really like 'Foster The People'.

Q- Something you miss?

A- I guess I miss my best friend as I have not seen her in like 5 days but I am seeing her tomorrow so it's all good.

Q- Favourite song? 

A- At the moment I really like 'Drunk in Love' by Beyonce (linked) and 'Wake me up' covered by Boyce Avenue (linked) but one of my all time favourite songs is 'Pumped up kicks' by Foster The People (linked).

Q- How old are you?

A- I've just turned 16.

Q- Zodiac sign?

A- Aquarius.

Q- Quality you look for in a partner?

A- A positive outlook on life.

Q- Favourite quote? 

A- At the moment one of my favourite quotes is:

but one of my all time favourite quotes is:

Fun fact: One of the tattoos I want is actually part of this quote, can you guess which part?

Q- Favourite actor?

A- Again I don't have a favourite actor.

Q- Favourite colour?

A- Tiffany blue.

Q- Loud music or soft?

A- It depends on my mood but normally loud music.

Q- Where do you go when you are sad?

A- I normally go to my besties house. 

Q- How long does it take you to shower?

A- Normally between 30-45 minutes.

Q- How long does it take you to get ready in a morning?

A- It really depends on what I'm doing that day but normally about 1 hour.

Q- Ever been in a physical fight?

A- No, not really.

Q- Turn on?

A- A guy who knows what he wants.

Q- Turn off?

A- Guys who are full of themselves.

Q- Fears?

A- I am scared of never being truly happy.

Q-Last thing you cried over?

A- My mums heart attack.

Q- Last time you said you loved someone?

A- About 5 hours ago.

Q- Last book you read?

A- I actually don't know the answer to that question.

Q- What book are you currently reading?

A- I'm a currently reading 'Beautiful Creatures' by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. 

Q- Last show you watched?

A- Pointless.

Q- Last person you talked to?

A- My mum.

Q- The relationship between you and the last person you texted?

A- She is one of my best friends.

Q- Favourite food?

A- I don't have a favourite food but my favourite type of food is Italian food.

Q- Place you want to visit?

A- Chicago.

Q- Last place you were?

A- My living room.

Q- Do you have a crush?

A- No, I actually don't have one at the moment.

Q- Last time you kissed someone?

A- I have no idea.

Q- Last time you were insulted?

A- A few weeks ago when some jerk in my year called me stuck up.

Q- Favourite flavour of sweets?

A- Peach or strawberry.

Q- What instruments can you play?

A- I can play the trumpet, the violin and the recorder.

Q- Favourite piece of jewellery?

A- My Michael Kors watch.

Q- Last sport you played?

A- Netball.

Q- Last song you sang?

A- 'Drunk in love' by Beyonce.

Q- Favourite chat up line?

A- 'Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see'.

Q- Have you ever used it?

A- No and I hope I never use it.

Q- Last time you hung out with anyone?

A- Yesterday.

Do you want any tattoos?

-Jess<3

Heart Attacks, Pneumonia, Weight-Loss Wednesdays, My 16th Birthday And 100 Happy Days: Day 6-12!

Hey!

On Monday (20th of January) my family got horrible news. My mum had been ill on Sunday night and Monday morning. She was being sick, feeling light headed and complaining of terrible chest and shoulder pains. She visited the our GP on Monday morning and it turned out she was having a heart attack. She was rushed to Blackpool hospital because our local hospital doesn't have a CCU ward. She was put in intensive care on the ward for the first 3 days (till Thursday the 23rd of January) and then moved onto another ward. She then got tested for Pneumonia and the test came back positive. She is still in Blackpool hospital and is being kept there until they think she is okay to come home. For those of you concerned, she is better than she was. 

My 16th birthday was on Thursday. Without my mum it wasn't really special but my dad, family and friends cheered the day up slightly for me. I dunno if I am going to do a birthday haul or not yet... I haven't decided.

I weighed myself on Wednesday and it turns out I lost 2 more pounds. That means that all together I have lost 6 pounds. Go me!

Because of everything that is going on, I haven't done the '100 Days Happy' challenge for the last 6 days. I am sure you all understand why.

-Jess<3

100 Days Happy: Day 5!

Hey!

My happy moment of today was dancing in the shower to music after my workout.

I love felling proud and happy after a workout.

-Jess<3

100 Days Happy: Day 4!

Hey!

My happy moment of today was the super funny family dinner my family and I shared at my Grandad's house tonight.

Sometimes you will only ever know the true value of a moment once it becomes a memory.

-Jess<3

100 Days Happy: Day 3!

Hey!

My happy moment of the day was the amazingly funny P.E lesson I had with my best friends today.

Laughing really is the best medicine.

-Jess<3

100 Happy Days: Day 2!

Hey!

My happy moment of today was cuddling with my 6 year old brother while watching 'The Simpsons'.

I enjoy the little things in life.

-Jess<3

Weight Loss Wednesdays Introduction And 100 Happy Days Challenge: Day 1!

Hey!

On the 2nd of January, I started my 'diet'. 2 weeks later and I have lost 4 pounds (2 pounds per week). To some, that might not be a great achievement but to me it's amazing. I'm the kind of person who goes on 'diets' all the time and, every time, I fail them within the first week. I don't have the will power or motivation it takes to make a 'long term healthy lifestyle' change. Fuck that. This time though, it's different. I have a goal, I have motivation. 

All my friends are slim. I am the 'fat' friend. Prom is this year and I don't want to be this size for that. I don't want to be worried about getting a dress in the right size or looking fat on photos. I don't want to look back at my prom pictures and think 'God I look fat next to my friends' or 'God I have a double chin'. I've cried about my weight enough in my life to know it's not worth it. The chocolate, sweets, crisps and sodas are not worth it. But I am.

The Goal:

My goal is to drop 2-3 dress sizes by June. I know it's an ambitious goal but I believe I can do it. 

The Plan:

So far my weight loss has been a mix of 2 things: 'Slim-Fast 3,2,1 Plan' and 'The Biggest Loser Six Week Slimdown'. Slim-Fast is a diet where you drink a Slim-Fast meal replacement shake instead of 2 meals per day. The 3, 2, 1 plan is a diet plan where you have 3 healthy snacks, 2 Slim-Fast meal replacement shakes and 1 meal per day. For more information click here. I don't follow the plan completely as I have more than 3 snacks per day. Personally, I would rather have more healthy snacks per day and take longer to lose weight than stick to plan, lose 4-6 pounds per week but be hungry. 'The Biggest Loser Six Week Slimdown' is a workout DVD that you do for six weeks. What I love about this is they give you a work out plan for the whole six weeks which is great as the workouts start off easy and get harder. This means your always getting a great workout . You can find the DVD on amazon if you are interested. 

Slim-Fast and Six Week Slimdown are what I'm using to kick start my weight loss. After 6-7 weeks I will start making up my own workouts and going back to eating 3 healthy meals per day. I am probably going to be using the 'Blogilates' work out calender as my regular workout routine. I will probably start on the beginners calender (click here) and then move on to the regular monthly calender (for January's calender click here). Blogilates is amazing at making up the calenders and she keeps them fun and interesting. Also, on the blog post about each calender, she links a playlist for each day so you don't have to search through her YouTube channel (click here) looking for each video.

Weight Loss Wednesdays: 

Wednesday are my weigh in day. So, every Wednesday, I plan on writing a blog post telling you weather I have lost, gained or stayed the same weight. I will also tell you how many days I exercised that week and how I feel I did as far as healthy eating goes. I would love it if you joined me on this journey by writing how much you lost and how well you did in the comment section. I don't plan on telling you my starting weight right away but, hopefully, as I lose weight I will become more comfortable with telling you.

I also want to start the 100 Days Happy Challenge. This is basically where you take a picture of something that made you happy everyday for 100 days. You can sign up for it and get more information by clicking here. I don't plan on signing up or taking pictures but what I do want to do is make a small blog post every day (if I can, no promises) about something that made me happy that day 

Day 1:

My travel and tourism lesson with my best friend V made me happy today. We spent the whole lesson laughing and smiling.

What made you happy today?

-Jess<3

P.S. Sorry that this is my first post in like 2 weeks and that this post was a bit everywhere.